From Jan & Gerry YOUR DUCK IS DEAD............ ????
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a Labrador Retriever.
As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck's ass. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat.
The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£150!" she cried, "£150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now £150." It’s been a long time since I last contacted you about life at the Inn We enjoyed our Sundays’ off- went and saw a few other pub restaurants, went to London Irish for rugby, met Lauren’s boyfriend family, 1/2 marathon in Cardiff, went to see Natalie in Plymouth and invited some people over for supper. Thank you for the support over the Christmas, sorry we didn’t fulfil the darts, golf and throwing the paperclip (maybe a summer activities). Kevin excelled with the music quiz. I enjoyed New Years eve thanks for contributing to the food. The Big breakfast was well attended and I was glad when it was finished . The caravan (Lauren’s palace) is now in place and lived in. To all the doubters- why wouldn’t it fit in. Great job by the A team . I am sorry to have to pull the beer promotion, but Keystone seem not to realise that we were promoting their beer and wanted to deliver not when we needed it. During the Xmas period we rang 3 breweries, no one answered the phone. Things to come Rugby 6 nations will be shown on the big screen , if you want to add a bit of spice, come and spend £5.00 on the 6 nations competition. Valentines dinner will be on Thursday 14th for true romantics and on Saturday 16th of February. Mothering Sunday is on 10th of March. Bread competition on Monday 1st of April. Price increase on 1st March. I am thinking of doing a Charity Summer ball- we always support Prospect, what other charity should we support, let me know if you have any views. Love and peace Mike
Thu, January 24, 2013
by Mike Shaw